Misty’s Top Ten Not-So-Useless Facts on: Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse
Published on May 28, 2011 by mistymarie · 1 Comment
So, by now we’ve all heard about the CDC’s tongue-in-cheek release of tips on how to survive a zombie apocalypse. Seeing as how so many people took this to literally mean that zombies are going to soon take over the world I thought I would share my own tips for survival among the zombies!! Read on!
(1) GET YOUR WEAPONS READY- It is common knowledge by most that a quick shot to the head will successfully kill a Zombie. So, have your guns and plenty of ammo ready!
(2) DON’T HOLE UP IN ONE SPOT- Zombies are drawn to anywhere that there are live humans, so stay on the move. It is better to take down zombies as you seek a safe escape than to hide and have to take on an even larger horde of them once you’re discovered.
(3) BE FRIENDLY WITH OTHER HUMANS- It isn’t wise to anger the only ones who can help you survive!
(4) TRUST NO ONE- Inspect ALL newcomers for bites, if they won’t comply then send ‘em on their way!
(5) CHECK BEHIND DOORS- Zombies are tricky! Always check behind doors and any other hidey holes in every new place you encounter.
(6) AVOID WINDOWS- They break easily and allow Zombies to enter. Cover windows and then stay the hell away from them.
(7) DON’T ASSUME ANIMALS ARE SAFE- Because it would really suck to survive human Zombies only to be taken down by a zombie dog!
(8) STAY IN SHAPE- A lot of running will likely be involved. Don’t let laziness destroy you.
(9) BE READY FOR NON-ZOMBIE INJURIES- First Aid supplies are a must, you’re bound to get hurt during an escape or a fight, be ready to fix yourself up.
(10) LOSE YOUR MORALS- You are going to have to take down little old ladies and Zombie children. Don’t die because you were a softy.
There you have it! Read it, Remember it, Practice it! Stay Alive when the Zombies Strike!!!
MistyMarie
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The CDC really does have a guide, they play it off more or less as a joke on their website however the fact that they DO have a guide is eyeopening. What do they know that we don’t?